A close friend of mine has been dating this guy who had (commitment issues) for as long as I have known her. She has pretty much stood by his side and remained patient out of her love and loyalty to him. She has tolerantly waited for him to get over his dedication and commitment phobias, only for him to inform her that he just got married to some random woman he just met. (jaw dropped…heart crushing...trying to pick oneself up off the floor shocker)Perhaps my friend was not the one for him right? Well, if she was not the woman for him then why did he just not move on with his new life? Why is he currently refusing to be happy with the new “Wifey”? Instead, he is constantly attempting to contact and spend his time thinking of my friend (the woman he knows within his own heart he should have married).
I truly do not understand why human beings do these types of thing to one another. Why do men/women choose to string each other along if they are not sure what they want out of a partner or a relationship? Just because one can’t make up their mind should the other suffer? No matter how much you try you cannot have your cake and eat it too, at least not for long anyway. If we choose to continue to take the selfish route in our relationships, karma’s heartbreak boomerang will surely cross our paths with a vengeance. So before you go disregarding someone’s heart remember the feelings you spare may be your own.
If you have an opinion or if you can share your perspective and provide further insight as to why this happens please feel free to enlighten and share.
I have seen this exact situation play out time and time again. I think people string other people along for the comfort, then they meet someone new and the intrigue of that new person makes them act irrationally. But that's infatuation. And infatuation never lasts.
ReplyDelete@ mr. nichols: I have been wondering when I was going to finally get a male perspective on this topic. Perhaps no one has been brave enough to touch it until now. Thanks for coming through on this one. I hope this opens the floor for more to follow suit. So...it really is all about emotional comfort that seems to be motivated by selfish personal satisfaction. Your right about one thing, it does seem to play out time and time again. It’s always different people but the same scenario. It is amazing how that intrigue and infatuation seems to really catch one in a choke hold then leaves one in some sort of trance. I almost get the infatuation bit but, marriage…wow!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's how it goes sometimes. These men get so wrapped up in that phase that their logic is "if she can make me feel this good, she must be the one!" By the time reality sets in, it's too late.
ReplyDeleteAll I can simply do is agree on that one. Your reply sparked another girlfriend of mine to call me from out of town. She said she enjoyed your replies. She said her guy and she just discussed the very same topic. This re-occurring topic forced them to evaluate where they are in their relationship and where they are headed. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it's difficult to figure out why we keep going back to the person who broke our heart, maybe it's because we think ( women or me in the case) that he can make the guy love us. we stick around and refuse to see the sad reality, the man is not that into you, he is playing cool until he finds who he is looking for.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, it took me few yesr to get over that situation. whenever the guy was hurting my feelings, i sued to find him excuses, oer and over. But now, i finally turn the page and i was so glad to tell i finally told him that i have moved on. i felt free and in peace. i am ready for a new adventure, no regrets, just looking forward to a new beginning!!!
Why is that we often want the one who doesn't want us or the one who is "Just Not That Into Us"? Why does She/He seem to fall the hardest for these types? Do we really love them, or is it the challenge of getting them to love us back that keeps us staying for more? I wish there was a better way of detecting if She/He is just playing it cool until they find who they are really looking for. I feel a new blog topic coming on…..
ReplyDeleteKarma applies to everything. Maybe some just don't realize what bad things they are doing. Nice post anyways. :D
ReplyDelete