SHE Confession # 10: The Casual Contract

We must pay close attention to whom we share our intimate energy with. Sexual intimacy on this level intricately entwines the auric energies of both sexual partners. It creates a powerful exchange of energy between those involved.  These powerful connections, no matter how insignificant we think they are, leave spiritual debris upon the aura for a long time because they are not easily cleansed or balanced. ‘Casual sex’ with many partners can entwine the energies of all these people into your own aura as well, if they are not severed and cleansed properly. This type of cluttered aura can be felt by others. This explains the subtle energies we give off. A person who sleeps with multiple people carries around a confused aura. The longer and more intimate the contact with another person, the more powerful the interactions of the auric fields become and the harder it is for these connections to untangle and leave. - Author Unknown

I was single and desolate when I decided to enter a verbal contract. A contract that would require me to have a consensual, casual relationship....no strings attached. My true nature would have never entertained the idea of such a relationship before but, as my loneliness rose to an all-time high, it began to impair my better judgement. To make matters worse, this forced celibate state I was in started to get the best of me. I longed for intimacy, that human connection with someone special. So as impatience moved in, I gave in.

There was no deceiving myself. I knew it wasn't the ultimate relationship that I had been holding out for. However, I coaxed myself into thinking it couldn't hurt. Hell, it was better than being alone, I thought. I told myself that I could do this. Stay focused, detached and simply enjoy his company. Be in the moment, while keeping my options open. It seemed like the perfect agreement while waiting for Mr. Ideal to show up and make his presence known. Things were fine at first. Our times together consisted of a mélange of intriguing conversation and intimacy. What had the makings of a brief fling suddenly had all the characteristics of a meaningful relationship. 

This was one of the dangers of being in such a sexy arrangement - that moment when a thin line comes into play. Where things go from being casual to feeling like a serious something. This is where the unthinkable happened... like a thief in the night, feelings emerged and I was then forced to realize my feelings for him. My gut told me he had feelings for me as well. My gut also said that although I am a committed relationship kind of girl, he will never be a committed relationship kind of guy and therein lies the problem.

How does one deal when the playing field suddenly changes? Do you try and renegotiate your arrangement? How does one even go about such a thing after setting such noncommittal ground rules? Do you sit down and try and discuss new terms under a new relationship contract or do you stop dead and center and walk away?  

As with most endeavors, there are a few lessons to be learned from this:

• There is no such thing as just a casual relationship
• Never allow your loneliness to lead you to settling
• People are who they are and believe what they tell you

It is a lot harder to get someone out of your life than it is to let them in. So take your time and choose wisely.

The Means to a Mend

No one wants to fall in love only for it to end in a deficit. As we struggle through this thing called life, we sometimes manage to surrender and let love in. When we decide to let love in, it seeps into our hearts, and like the weight of an ocean, it can break and shatter us. This can happen the moment you give love a chance. That feeling you get when you fall hard and seek your (be-all and end-all) to be filled by that SHE/HE.

I once heard, when it comes to love, it is better to walk into love rather than fall in love. This way, when the love is not right, you can simply walk away. If you fall in love, you run the risk of staying down too long and not knowing when or how to come back up - not knowing who or what to turn to, until you are left with no choice but to drown in love.

Once your heart takes over, you will feel yourself literally sink to the depths, the brink of what seems to be the point of no return, a complete abyss - entrapped by emotions and feeling broken. A state of complete darkness comes over you. Though all is dim, know that this too shall pass. The pain felt is not the end all.

Remember, just as that darkness of the night always precedes the dawn, know that light and blissful love is sure to follow after the pain. As long as there is breath in your body and a your heart still beats, you will heal and move on, even if it feels inconceivable.

This is not the end of you but, perhaps, an end of what was not meant to be. Know that the depth of that emotional abyss is not the final resting spot on your love journey. Sometimes you have to reach your lowest point, that point where you are faced without a choice, but only to move on and rise above it all. You can choose to stay at the bottom, until you simply drown, or you can gather the pearls and leave behind the pebbles and the swine. It is these very pearls that will make you stronger, more resilient, and help you see your worth.

Have faith that you can rise up and replace the darkness with the light. Transform your weakness and pain into your greatest strength, a means of growth and renewal. Understand that transformation often begins with a fall, and never regret the lesson.

I read somewhere that “The ground is where humility lives”. This is when you must seek your inner strength, inner circle, and faith to become more aware. It is only then that you will gain the needed endurance to move on. Once healed, at some point you will be forced to look back and see your own nothingness from whence you came. This will encourage you to seek the hunger for greatness. Know that if you have seen that reality, you have seen much. The one who is truly deceived and in darkness is the one who only seeks to pleasure HER/HIS own self, while simply disregarding others along the way. Deprived is the one who has never witnessed HER/HIS own need for the genuine love of another. Reliant on HER/HIS own self, SHE/HE fails to realize the weight of their actions and how it may compromise others, and everything else in existence.

Look to your faith and your inner strength to bring you back up, for the heart that you thought was forever damaged will be mended. What was shattered will be whole again. It is the belief that you can, that will allow you to do this. Keep seeking your inner strength. Constantly thinking and trying to figure out what went wrong, on the other hand, will only leave you to spend too much time regretting, feeling ashamed, and crippled with fear to love again. Don’t let the crushing waves of heartbreak prevent you from rising up. You can still rise up and breathe new air and new life, for new love can be just around the corner. Regain your sense of self and get back on the love track. Leave the pain behind you and don’t let the pain change you. You have a heart that is beautiful, lovable, and desirable for the right person. Keep these words dear and near and use them as your means to a mend.

Is Your Relationship a Deal Breaker?

Here's another great opportunity for you to hash out your relationship issues on T.V with the Author of "Think Like a Man" and host of The Steve Harvey Show based in Chicago. Even if you are not from Chicago area, if chosen you would be flown out with accommodations included so you can tell your story to Steve. 

Currently they are looking for women who are having problems in their relationships (hence why they reached to us). They are looking for women in long-term relationships that want to know if their man's behavior is really a deal breaker. Steve Harvey will sit down with you if you are selected and give you his honest advice from his perspective. If this sounds like something you would be interested in please contact Jasmine Stephen.

SHE Confession #7: I Just Can't Anymore

I'm not feeling this between us anymore. I have been let down and disregarded so many times in my past and now you too... Was it naive of me to think you were incapable of doing the same? I guess...I have tried my best to always be there for you when you needed someone to talk to, someone to care or just simply be there. You know it really wasn't no task at all, for I hung onto every word that you so much as even uttered from your beautiful lips.

I thought I had the same in you but, in return you disappointed me… You fell out of my life once again. You checked out once more. As life with me became too much for you to bear you just simply stopped calling. Not once did you seem to care what was going on with me. What you had going on was all that seem to truly matter anyways.

Loving you was a certainty that I would be there. I respected your need to do things differently and handle things your own way. At the same time your actions forced me to realize what works for me and this one-way surely doesn't anymore. Walking out of my life and strolling back when it is conducive for you…really?

During your hiatus I reached out to you because I needed you, I needed someone to talk to, someone to just listen with care… Instead you were nowhere to be found because, you were busy doing you. This last time you showed up expecting to get back in, back to when we were at our ultimate high. I just simply can't keep doing this again and again, I just can no longer do us. Not because I don't love you anymore. Hell, I still do...maybe even more. I just can't endure the pain anymore. This whole thing has got me so weak...I can't foresee me ever trusting you as I once did and that is why I just can't anymore.  

HE Confession #3: SHE, the Bitch I Never Knew

SHE left me disenchanted. Her actions ripped my perception of who I thought SHE was to pieces. It changed my reality, our existence. SHE was unintentionally tested by me. SHE failed and, miserably I might add. SHE took what we had between us…what I thought was beyond any monetary value and, reduced us like some outdated piece of technology. 

We became a thing of yesterday…obsolete. Just like that… I sometimes watch her bask in her own delight from a distance and think oh, what a Bitch SHE is! A Bitch no doubt… Then I came to my senses and realized I’m just simply chagrined by it all. 

I’m still very much in love with the idea of who I thought SHE was.  The truth of the matter is SHE is not a bitch at all. SHE is still the same SHE that SHE always has been. A SHE I refused to initially see. Instead of continuously harboring ill feelings for her, I can now only want to wish her well. For if SHE was not being SHE I would not have been the involuntary recipient of clarity, a parting gift that SHE so graciously left. Staring at me was the true Bitch, my denial... 
Image credit: blanarum / 123RF Stock Photo

SHE Confession #6: A Solemn Stance on Love

It's been difficult to write about relationships and my thoughts regarding them for quite some time lately. My inability to do so wasn't so much so that I had some sort of writer's block. It's actually quite the opposite. I actually have so much to say or so much on my mind regarding relationships as a whole. I've been boggled down with my own personal feelings on the matter that, I have not been able to funnel through it. I just can't seem to make sense of it all, or where to begin. Partly being, is that I'm learning to emotionally let go. Holding on to a certain something or someone has been one of my biggest muse when it comes to writing about relationships. Letting go of what had been my drug, my main source of inspiration....my emotional addiction. It was one of the hardest things I had to do and like with any addiction every new day is an entirely new struggle. Holding on too long has been a downfall of mine.

I honestly have to say that there are truly many depths of love. You can love people for totally different reasons. However, when love is staring you in the face you truly know it without a doubt. Love makes you want to give even when there is nothing to gain in return. At the same time love can sting when it's not returned in equal or even a remote measure. While love can be so beautiful it can be equally dismal.   

On the Deficit Side of SHE Versus HE

Has this ever happened to you? Where you ever that HE/SHE?

*HE pursued you for what you thought was a relationship when HE was just rebounding with you.

*HE said he didn't want a serious relationship but, HE got married six month later.

*HE said HE wanted a serious relationship but, HE was already married to someone else.

*HE was with you for over a decade, marriage, kids and all. Yet, HE was never fully committed in his heart.

*HE never wanted anything really. HE was just lonely and simply wanted sex.

*HE couldn't handle your love due to his own insecurities and issues.

*HE was almost too good to be true until his dark secret was revealed.

*HE just stop calling....til this day you still don't know why.

*HE was abusive, controlling, jealous....just all kinds of wrong.

*HE loved you & SHE & her & her too.

*HE was too wounded to ever love you or anyone else for that matter.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*SHE loved you but, wanted him and her freedom more.

*SHE didn't love you SHE only loved the last thing you did for her.

*SHE was too self-absorbed to love anyone else.

*SHE used you as her rebound only to return back to him

*SHE said you don't do it for her anymore.

*SHE had too many insecurities about herself that she couldn't love anyone else.

*SHE pretended to be someone SHE wasn't then the real SHE showed up.

*SHE didn't know how to relate to HE for she lacked positive role models.

*SHE no longer met your physical needs. Intimacy became a chore for SHE.

*SHE woke up one day and decided that motherhood and marriage was not her deal anymore.

*SHE said you wasn't good enough.

SHE Confession #5: True Love...Absolute Truth or Myth

True Love...is it real? Does it truly exist? Imaginably, it is easy to assume that it is just a fantasy or myth. Perhaps it is merely something that great fairy-tales are made of. If "True Love" is in fact real, does it ever last or does it simply wear off by some specific time frame? Is it like a momentary phase that is sure to pass and guaranteed to not linger on? Is it more like a grand facade, a huge deceptive web filled with deception? A deceptive, delusional spell that disorientates it’s victims into a distorted reality. Forcing you to wear rose tinted glasses with a rosy outlook in tow. The tail end result are: gross misconceptions, huge arguments, horrid break-ups. and bitter divorces.

This is coming from a person who has waited for what appears to be centuries for "True Love" that is long lasting, with a close resemblance to eternity. I have waited for "True Love" to show up and show out, for "True Love" to show its exquisite and astonishing face. Yet, to no avail…instead I was met with lack luster imposters who tried to mimic and do their best at their rendition of what True Lasting Love should be.

SHE Confession #4: Wanted...

Bursting with love for him but, all the yet void. Ready to love him while hopefully awaiting his reciprocity, yet empty I remain. Waiting for him to show up and be present but, alone I stand. Wanted to see him one last time to say goodbye, as if it would matter. Instead I choose to remain silent for a different outcome is not destined. Wanted to make love to him one last time so I would cherish that memory along with the many other precious times we have shared. Wanted to make love to him again so I could tell myself it was more than a "on to the next one" type fling. Wanted to be special to him, to be different.

Wanted him to love me, be that "ONE" HE couldn't be without. Wanted to keep holding on and keep praying HE'd love me and want me one day. Wanted to stop wondering if everything I was feeling was just some ish in my head. Wanted to accept whatever HE was willing to give, on his terms, just to be in his grace. Wanted to try and accept the friendship HE was only willing to extend but, my heart wouldn't comfortably let me. Wanted to forget him but, all I continually did and still do is compare him to every other inadequate him. Feeling drained and running on empty because I know my love for him has no merit. Wanted to say or do more than I have already said or done with hopes of a different outcome. Instead, no final words spoken or needed cause with time the definitive nature of it all will still be.

Break-Ups and the Unknown.....

Ever dated or had a relationship with someone and as far as you knew things were going great. Then, out of nowhere everything came to a screeching halt? Things just ended abruptly without any explanation whatsoever and it left you wondering what happened. Did it ever leave you with a dozen of unanswered questions? Questions, that left you wondering until this very day as to what went wrong? Well, there is now a site that can help answer all of the above.
This interesting fairly new concept is called "Wot Went Wrong". It's a site geared towards helping people get the feedback and finality that they always wanted. Here you can fill out a simple five step process and Viola! You are well on your way to getting the closure you so needed and it will finally allow you to move on with your life. See for yourself and feel free to let us know how it helped you. 
 ***Update*** Although it may have been a great concept, this site appears to no longer be in operation. I guess it may have been difficult to get the side of the let down to fess up.

Searching 4 Soulmate Candidate #1 & Only

“Hello. Is this Missing Persons? I’m looking for my Soulmate have you seen him?”
According to Greek Mythology, the first humans were created with 4 arms, 4 legs, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 pairs of eyes. Afraid of the power, Zeus split them in half, leaving them to find the other half of themselves. These people are believed to be called Soulmates.

Yeah, so that’s what the wallpaper on my crackberry currently reads. So this should be a clear indication of my Soulmate belief system or just how intense I am about the LOVE Movement. Like the soulful singer Sade, I too am a Soldier of Love. Despite the heartbreaks or failed relationships of the past, I still believe in love and that there is someone out there for me. I believe that everyone has someone that is just right for them. So with that being said I have to start off with a few thought provoking questions as I often do.

*Do you believe in the concept of a Soulmate?

*If so is there one soulmate for everyone, or are there multiple Soulmates for everyone in the world?

*Do you believe that there is not just a romantic/intimate Soulmate?

*Do you believe that you can also have a Soulmate in a friend, a sibling or distant relative as well?

Call me a silly or a corny romantic that lives in a world that either no longer or an even worse case scenario, never existed. Call me what you want but, I however, strongly believe in the Soulmate concept. Maybe it’s like walking around with a bag full of dreams or being caught up in a romantic matrix of some sort. Perhaps I must have overdosed on the fairy tales growing up, who knows for certain how I got this way……..or maybe I was just born this way. I know many of you can identify with the feelings I’m speaking on. The feelings you get when you have met the “ONE”. The “ONE” that makes you feel like singing every love song under the sun or the “ONE” that inspires you to write a little something like this:

Blessed that you are fortunate to live long enough in this life to experience such an inexplicable feeling for that someone special, a feeling you never want to let go of.... A feeling that makes you feel a little bit stronger, a little bit more compassionate, a feeling that has the ability to transform you into a better person while all the while leaving you feeling weak or at the mercy of the other. When you have this feeling, it’s the kind of feeling that no one can dare tell you how to feel, when to feel, why to feel or even think about suggesting you end it or change it.

This feeling is the most powerful feeling ever, it'll make you do things you never thought you would, and it will make you feel better than you ever felt before. However, it can also tear you in half in a matter of seconds. This intense feeling gives you the strength to take the good with the bad and make every minute feel well worth it and well spent.

Initially his physical stature caught my eyes but, his larger than life persona is what captured and locked my heart. As crazy as it may seem, I think I loved him long before we exchanged one solitary word or glance. His presence commands a great sense of familiarity, like I have been here, or like we have met before.

When ever he looks into my eyes the poet within me cease to exist for I instantaneously become speechless, for I’m basking in moments of this sheer bliss. I feel energetic passion when he touches me, a tenderness when he holds me close, a happiness when I'm graced with his presence, even if it’s just for a minute. Often left anxiously anticipating when our eyes will meet and our smiles will give us that sense of completion. His simple, sweet, sincere words touch & uplift me. His honesty and sincerity, intrigues me. A thought of him transcends me to a serene place then leaves me with an adolescent smile on my face. The intimacy that bonds two people happened and began with the eyes and the heart, long before the physical intimacy came into play. Some things happen beyond reason, like the wonder of how my feelings for him came to be and never cease to thrive or persist.-Soleilwriter

Now, the issue with this belief system is that these feelings needs to be felt by both parties involved for it to be that true Soulmate type connection. That feeling has to be a feeling that flows naturally. It shouldn't be a feeling that one has to force or create. It shouldn't be feelings that one has to put up all resistance against or take the fight or flight approach. The feeling you get will just simply be….a feeling that comes as natural as breathing.... Again, I cannot stress enough about how mutual things have to be. If all these things are not present then what you have is a one sided illusion or a grandiose imagination of a love affair. So what one may have perceived as a fairytale connection is more like an emotional one sided, heart wrenching amusement ride that leaves you feeling unsettled and uneasy. It leaves you feeling and writing heartfelt emotions about a love that is not reciprocated or simply cannot be. Figuring out where you are in a relationship or where you stand is easier said than done. Recognizing your Soulmate and knowing if he or she is the “ONE” is also easier said than done. All you can do is have a sincere heart and pray that love will come through for you this time around. Just remember that when all that has to be said has already been said or done, there is most certainly a lesson to be learned from every experience so never regret. Everyone one you meet along the way, whether just in passing or for a whirlwind minute, just know the encounter had a purpose. Even sugarcoated and optimistically thinking me has to unwillingly (rolling my eyes every bit of the way) admit nothing lasts forever, relationships begin, and sometimes they do unfortunately come to an end even when you don't want them to. Although, I may not have done a great job of accepting or practicing this in the past, I do try to be thankful for all the people that broke my heart. With every heartbreak, one has the ability to find oneself and in that, one is certainly sure to find one’s Soulmate.

Cutting the Tomfoolery Out of Your Relationship

Why is it that we often want the one who doesn't want us or the one who is "Just Not That Into Us"? Why do we appear to fall the hardest for the one who plays it cool and acts uninterested? Do we really like or love them, or is it the challenge of getting them to want or love us back that keeps us wanting more? Is it the cat and mouse chase that keeps us anticipating that next encounter? Perhaps many of us are gluttons for punishment when it comes to matters of the heart.

A relationship of this magnitude can often leave one to feel like they are trapped in one of those insane episodes of the cartoon classic Tom & Jerry. According to Wikipedia the plot of the carton classic is described as:

The plot of each cartoon short is usually centered on Tom's frustrated attempts to catch Jerry, and the mayhem and destruction that ensue. Since Tom rarely attempts to eat Jerry and because the pair actually seem to get along in some cartoon shorts (at least in the first minute or so), it is unclear why Tom chases Jerry so much. But some reasons given may include normal feline/mouse enmity; Tom rarely succeeds in catching Jerry, mainly because of Jerry's craftiness and cunning abilities, but sometimes because of Tom's own stupidity. Tom sometimes beats Jerry, usually when Jerry becomes the instigator or when he crosses some sort of line.

This synopsis can easily be compared to the madness we often put ourselves through in the name of love or lust. At some point we have to stop the Tomfoolery and analyze things for what they are and move on to the catch that wants to be caught. Are you the Tom or the Jerry in your real life cartoon ciaos of a relationship?

500 Days of Summer, Then Comes Autumn

When it comes to breaking down the she versus he I think a definite must see is 500 Days of Summer. This movie stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Mark) and Zooey Deschanel Summer) in non-linear romantic comedy. Mark is a guy who falls head over heels in love with Summer, a girl who doesn't believe in love at first. After meeting Summer in his place of employment, he feels that two have a great deal in common. Mark is one who strongly believes in the soulmates concept. He feels she is the one. On the other hand Summer sees true love as pure fairy tales, and isn't seeking anything more than friendship. Mark is determined to win her over and show Summer that love is real and succeeds with a twist. This is a must see. Read synopsis and user comment below:

Taken from IMDB:
Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't. This is not a love story. This is a story about love. After it looks as if she's left his life for good this time, Tom Hansen reflects back (which bad relationships often make you do) on the just over one year that he knew Summer Finn. Despite being physically average in almost every respect,Tom's adolescent sister, Rachel, who is his voice of reason(and a powerful voice of reason). After all is said and done, Tom is the one who ultimately has to make the choice to listen or not. Tom and Summer argue over whether or not love is real, with Summer saying it isn't while Tom says it is. The two agree to disagree. Rachel tells him that he should take a second look at Summer and Tom's relationship and stop ignoring the bad(something we often do in relationships and wonder how we got to this point). He realizes that there was always something Summer was holding back and kept her from truly being "in" the relationship.

User comment section on IMDB:
(500) Days of Summer is a poem to every down and out guy who thinks he's the only one whose ever been dragged through the mill by their own Summer. What undoubtedly ends up making this picture so brilliant is how relatable it is to its victims and victimizers a like. When all is said and done, there is most definitely a lesson to be learned by Tom's experiences. Everyone you meet along the way, whether just passing through or sticking around for awhile, has a purpose. In the end nothing lasts forever, relationships begin, relationships end. Try to be thankful for all the people that broke your heart, they more than likely helped you find yourself in the process …especially you, Summer…bitch

Harsh Cheating Punishment…You Decide.

I had to put a quick post in for this one...(lol). Imagine if one cheated and this how one had to sorry in this manner. I guess this is something to make many think twice.

When a Bond Has Been Compromised

In a relationship, you find someone that you trust and you consider them to be your most highly regarded confidant. You share with them some of your deepest secrets and embedded insecurities that you wouldn’t dare share with anyone else. Such a gesture does not come about by doing small act or feat either. They earned this privilege by gaining your heart and your trust over time.

Everyday isn’t always a good day between two people. The two of you may not always see eye to eye. It may even get to the point where issues and conflicts become frequent visitors in your relationship. These communication isues shouldn’t really make much a difference right? After all, they are your most cherished confidant right?

Well, what do you do when your most cherished confidant goes and compromise your trust? This often occurs as a result of anger or some emotional based revenge. The very same secrets you shared with them are now being thrown back at you to hurt you. The very same insecurities that you divulged are now being used against you. What do you do when you are constantly being undermined by this person you love? What do you do when they use words to emotionally hurt or manipulate you because they know just exactly how to do it?

Do you:

a) Try your best to work it out by figuring out the emotional root of the constant betrayal and decide to forgive and forget.

b) Do you give them a spoonful of their own emotionally fatal medicine?

c) Do you acknowledge this as emotional abuse and decide to cut your losses and let go of the emotional roller coaster?

I would love to hear your answer and see how you would handle things……..

Karma’s Heartbreak Boomerang

A close friend of mine has been dating this guy who had (commitment issues) for as long as I have known her. She has pretty much stood by his side and remained patient out of her love and loyalty to him. She has tolerantly waited for him to get over his dedication and commitment phobias, only for him to inform her that he just got married to some random woman he just met. (jaw dropped…heart crushing...trying to pick oneself up off the floor shocker)

Perhaps my friend was not the one for him right? Well, if she was not the woman for him then why did he just not move on with his new life? Why is he currently refusing to be happy with the new “Wifey”? Instead, he is constantly attempting to contact and spend his time thinking of my friend (the woman he knows within his own heart he should have married).

I truly do not understand why human beings do these types of thing to one another. Why do men/women choose to string each other along if they are not sure what they want out of a partner or a relationship? Just because one can’t make up their mind should the other suffer? No matter how much you try you cannot have your cake and eat it too, at least not for long anyway. If we choose to continue to take the selfish route in our relationships, karma’s heartbreak boomerang will surely cross our paths with a vengeance. So before you go disregarding someone’s heart remember the feelings you spare may be your own.

If you have an opinion or if you can share your perspective and provide further insight as to why this happens please feel free to enlighten and share.

Scales and Balances of the Heart

I was having a casual debate about relationships with a friend of the opposite sex. We had a host of exchanges bouncing back and forth. You see, when it comes to relationships you rarely find a shared consensus when males and females point of views are involved. We could not agree on much of anything. Who wants to give in to the other side? He actually had the bravado to go on and say that "When it comes to a relationship between two people, there is always one person who loves more than the other." I immediately disagreed and replied with such assurance to his comment because; I did not want to believe that such a thing could even be remotely true. "When one truly cares for someone it should be sincere" I said "When it comes to relationships everything should be 50/50 right?........Love is love correct, or is it truly a constant game that ones not sure they really ever wanted to play in the first place?".............

Well, I will have to reluctantly admit that some years later after experiencing and witnessing the trials and tribulations of relationship matters both mine and others around me, that he was indeed correct. I now admit my observations with additional findings.... Yes, he was correct but, that unbalanced scale of lust, love or whatever one chooses to call it, can shift in the course of a relationship at any given time. So when one thinks that they are more at the receiving and advantageous end of the Relationship Scale beware, because overnight in the bat of an eyelash, one might find themselves at the less appealing end of the relationship measuring stick. One might find themselves reluctantly on the the least lucrative side of the emotional scale.

So word to the wise. Don't get too comfortable with putting minimal effort and think that ones partner is going to always go above and beyond for ones love and attention. The moral of this story is: Do unto others as you want done to yourself when it comes to matters of the heart. Karma can come back and give you something that you did not anticipate and send you on an bitter sweet emotional whirlwind.

Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the most- Gordon Livington