Why is it that we often want the one who doesn't want us or the one who is "Just Not That Into Us"? Why do we appear to fall the hardest for the one who plays it cool and acts uninterested? Do we really like or love them, or is it the challenge of getting them to want or love us back that keeps us wanting more? Is it the cat and mouse chase that keeps us anticipating that next encounter? Perhaps many of us are gluttons for punishment when it comes to matters of the heart.
A relationship of this magnitude can often leave one to feel like they are trapped in one of those insane episodes of the cartoon classic Tom & Jerry. According to Wikipedia the plot of the carton classic is described as:
The plot of each cartoon short is usually centered on Tom's frustrated attempts to catch Jerry, and the mayhem and destruction that ensue. Since Tom rarely attempts to eat Jerry and because the pair actually seem to get along in some cartoon shorts (at least in the first minute or so), it is unclear why Tom chases Jerry so much. But some reasons given may include normal feline/mouse enmity; Tom rarely succeeds in catching Jerry, mainly because of Jerry's craftiness and cunning abilities, but sometimes because of Tom's own stupidity. Tom sometimes beats Jerry, usually when Jerry becomes the instigator or when he crosses some sort of line.This synopsis can easily be compared to the madness we often put ourselves through in the name of love or lust. At some point we have to stop the Tomfoolery and analyze things for what they are and move on to the catch that wants to be caught. Are you the Tom or the Jerry in your real life cartoon ciaos of a relationship?
I think it's the challenge that comes with it. It's thrilling to chase and you get a feeling of satisfaction when you're able to chase whoever you are chasing.
ReplyDeleteSo true, however as well as there is satisfaction there is disatisfacion. Do we love the misery?
ReplyDeleteThe entertainment we feed on portrays the cool guy as always chasing after a new girl. Long lasting, stable, happy relationships are not very hip in Hollywood.
ReplyDeleteWhy not go against the grain and do what's not hip for change. You might be pleasantly surprised that you actually like the end result.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that it's really a question of defining the goal. What do we really want? A long term, loving and stable relationship or a momentary conquest and another notch on our belt? My take on it is that we really want ( I mean really, deep down under all the bullshit) love but we're conditioned to chase notches on the belt. We worship the endorphin high that comes with meeting a new prospect and finding out all the exciting new things about him or her, that let us exist in that wonderful floaty place where reality is temporarily suspended.
ReplyDeleteI was very happy to search out this web-site.I needed to thanks to your time for this excellent read!! I definitely enjoying each little little bit of it
ReplyDelete@Terry D,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your response! It's true that deep down many of us want the long term, loving and stable relationship. However, we are afraid to admit this to others, as well as ourselves that we do. Instead we often think it is safe and easy on the heart to project that we just want a momentary conquest or another notch on our belt. No matter what you try to project the heart always supersedes!
@Flirt,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comment and time. It is messages like this amongst others that encourages me to keep sharing.