SHE Confession #3: Valentine's Day...Not So Much!

Well it's Valentine's Day again and I don't have a Valentine. Part of me is okay with that and part of me is a tad bit....I don't know. I don't know because, having or not having a Valentine to me is not that big of a deal. It is actually what not having one signifies that gets me a bit. The reality that I don't have someone to love and someone to equally love me back.

Honestly, I'm in the middle on this whole Valentine's thing. A part of me dislikes the fact that a vast majority of us run around on one day a year only and make a big deal about lust, romance and love. We go through great measures just to show a person one day a year that we care about them. How corny is that! I'm just saying, really.... If you truly have these enormous feelings for them why does one have to fall victim to commercialism and show love on one day because everyone else is doing so? Doesn't it demean the whole idea?

Don't get me wrong since I'm all for the "Love Movement" and better relations between men and women, anything that promotes love I co-sign. I'm not some Valentine Scrooge just because I'm Valentineless. I just want to know what's up with showing your love, care or concern daily? If someone has my heart, HE does not have to wait until "V"day to know I care. HE will have numerous love letters, emails, text and simple daily acts of love from me to show for it. "Why wait for tomorrow, with what you could do today?" For tomorrow is not promised or guaranteed. You may never have the opportunity to do it again, say it again or be with that person again. Cherish each moment as though it were your last. Don't fall in sync and do what's expected for one day and then go back to whatever it was you weren't doing before....and no I'm not amped because I'm Valentineless.....yes, I made up a word.

Lastly, while I'm just saying...SHEs if you are going to celebrate Valentine's Day then understand that it is a two-way street. It is not another "SHE" holiday quite to the contrary popular belief. If you are expecting and hoping to receive thoughtful gifts, plans or gestures then I would hope you would represent the SHEs well and have the very same itinerary on deck. Happy Valentine's Day to all my SHEs and HEs. May you have all the love your heart desires. May you have love all year through.

Dating 101- The True Waiting Game

It is often said you should not look for someone. You should let that someone find you. Well if everyone believed in that concept then how would anyone ever find anyone if everyone is just hoping the "ONE" is going to randomly show up? Is this person suppose to show up like some cool breeze on a hot summer night?

I mean really......If that were true why is there so much information geared towards meeting someone out there? Like how to do this or how to that tips/tricks and self help information on finding the "ONE"? Why do services like speed dating, online dating, social meet-ups and other grand schemes to help people connect with each other exist if the "ONE" is supposed to simply find you?

When you finally do meet someone that is only half the battle. Then comes more questions and uncertainties. Do you give them your number first? Do you ask for theirs? Should you wait for them to ask you for yours or should you just exchange numbers?

.......Once you have miraculously figured that out, what should you do next? Based on who has whose number, do you wait for them to call or let them do all the calling so that you can;

a.) see just how much they like or are interested in you

b.) not come off as a stalker or overly eager type

c.) play it cool and just let nature take it's course (whatever that means)

Whew! Now that you have made it past all those what ifs and you now have figured out you might be the one to initiate the first call, do you call right away or is there an official waiting (let me not look too desperate) period? Is there a daily or weekly limit on the frequency of calls that one can make? Whose responsibility is it again to maintain the communication between two people, so that both parties know that they are both interested and excited without appearing like they are doing too much?

Everyone seems to have different approaches or techniques on how things should be done or developed. Some honestly believe that these set systems they have in place actually work for them. I think not!! If that were the case half these people would be all set in the relationship department. I would love to get the answers to my many questions. Perhaps there is an unspoken dating manual out there that I'm just not aware of. I'm interested and curious to know what are some of the different dating rules that you have in place and what works for you when meeting someone?