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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Dating 101- The True Waiting Game

It is often said you should not look for someone. You should let that someone find you. Well if everyone believed in that concept then how would anyone ever find anyone if everyone is just hoping the "ONE" is going to randomly show up? Is this person suppose to show up like some cool breeze on a hot summer night?

I mean really......If that were true why is there so much information geared towards meeting someone out there? Like how to do this or how to that tips/tricks and self help information on finding the "ONE"? Why do services like speed dating, online dating, social meet-ups and other grand schemes to help people connect with each other exist if the "ONE" is supposed to simply find you?

When you finally do meet someone that is only half the battle. Then comes more questions and uncertainties. Do you give them your number first? Do you ask for theirs? Should you wait for them to ask you for yours or should you just exchange numbers?

.......Once you have miraculously figured that out, what should you do next? Based on who has whose number, do you wait for them to call or let them do all the calling so that you can;
a.) see just how much they like or are interested in you
b.) not come off as a stalker or overly eager type
c.) play it cool and just let nature take it's course (whatever that means)

Whew! Now that you have made it past all those what ifs and you now have figured out you might be the one to initiate the first call, do you call right away or is there an official waiting (let me not look too desperate) period? Is there a daily or weekly limit on the frequency of calls that one can make? Whose responsibility is it again to maintain the communication between two people, so that both parties know that they are both interested and excited without appearing like they are doing too much?

Everyone seems to have different approaches or techniques on how things should be done or developed. Some honestly believe that these set systems they have in place actually work for them. I think not!! If that were the case half these people would be all set in the relationship department. I would love to get the answers to my many questions. Perhaps there is an unspoken dating manual out there that I'm just not aware of. I'm interested and curious to know what are some of the different dating rules that you have in place and what works for you when meeting someone?

7 comments:

  1. go out and hunt for your love never sit back and wait.....i hear that bullcrap let it come to u,well i try'd that it never came ..i believe you gotta make love happen..my whole life all i ever wanted was one lightskined lighteyed woman to love me and not big black dic- or big white wallet in self hatred for her own mirror image man.....

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    1. So Mr. Scott, does hunting your mate down apply to both HE/SHE? Do you think the aggressive approach works for HEs? I do agree that sometimes you have to take matters into your own hand sometimes, if not how will you ever know. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Sometime you don't have to wait but make sure you leave yourself open for them to come. You need to put your feet down and said I want this and go get it. Man is like a child you need to lead him in the right direction.

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  3. Before actually fixing a date with someone whom you met on a dating site, you should ask yourself if you are fully ready for a real relationship with someone. Also, make sure you both will be comfortable speaking to each other on a real date, so that there is nothing awkward in between.

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  4. Actually seating back and expecting that special one to find you did not work anymore this day either HE/SHE you have to initiate the searching then the two bird may come across one another and after collecting the number if HE did not call you within two days SHE have to do it in style like i just want to say hello to you or check on you for sure HE will surely retuurn the call

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  5. Truth is that if someone wants to be with you it doesn’t matter what you do they will still want to be with you, so don’t beat yourself up about anything you do. Enough with the “play hard to get” bullshit. We’re not kids playing games, we’re grown adults. If I like someone I tell them. Why not? If he can’t handle it or it “turns him off” then too bad for him. He obviously isn’t as in to me as I thought he was.

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I would love to hear your take on SHE Versus HE.