There comes a time when two people have to realize that the expiration date between them is now progressively upon them. When one has to look back and assess the entire relationship and truly analyze if what one has between them is really real or worth it anymore. Is one living a lie? Is that magic really over and is there absolutely no hope of rekindling the relationship? Could it be that one has finally realized that they are never on the same page with SHE/HE about anything anymore? One might be saying and wanting one thing while the other may be desiring something totally different?
Sometimes couples find or think that it is simply easier to agree to disagree or go down the infamous silent treatment route. Living a mundane life like this with someone is sure to have a stifling effect on ones spirits. Many fail to realize that people simply grow apart. This is the point where it is vital to take a second look at your relationship and stop ignoring the bad or what is simply not good or working anymore regarding the two of you. This is something we often do in relationships and wonder how we got here. How did one get to this no man’s land of total disconnect where each day one is left feeling like you are just going through the motions, almost feeling like one is not really living or being one’s full self or potential. It’s like being in a situation that is no longer right, like living in a monotonous hell or emotional prison. It creeps up on you like some sort of depression or frustration that you cannot seem to put into words. This is where you have to ask yourself a few more questions:
*What exactly is holding or keeping the both of you together?
*Is it the love for each other, family and finances that's keeping you there or is it simply a force of habit or the creature of comfort?
*Could it be that one is afraid to exist and not coexist?
*Do you feel that the glue that held you both together is unraveling at lightning speed?
It’s important to ask oneself these questions when such feelings are racing through one’s mind on a day to day basis. Life is too short to live in this manner. One owes it to oneself and one’s mate to be the best that they can be and demand that it be reciprocated in return. Perhaps things are not as bad as one might believe. Perhaps it is just a matter of sorting through all those misunderstandings and believing in the value of the relationship by first figuring out where one first went wrong. Like putting on the rose colored glasses for the betterment of your love investment, like revaluating as well as working hard to rebuild one’s relationship.
*Do you feel that there was always something your partner was holding back and kept him/her from truly being “in” the relationship you deserve or vice versa?
It’s important to ask oneself these questions when such feelings are racing through one’s mind on a day to day basis. Life is too short to live in this manner. One owes it to oneself and one’s mate to be the best that they can be and demand that it be reciprocated in return. Perhaps things are not as bad as one might believe. Perhaps it is just a matter of sorting through all those misunderstandings and believing in the value of the relationship by first figuring out where one first went wrong. Like putting on the rose colored glasses for the betterment of your love investment, like revaluating as well as working hard to rebuild one’s relationship.
If one feels that they have done all there is to mentally and physically do, then it’s time to recognize that it is imperative one loves themselves and their significant other enough to know when it’s time to let go. It does not mean that we are a failure or that we failed one another. Sometimes we have to admit that it truly does happen to the best of us. Don’t allow guilt to stagnate the long overdue decision. Love one another enough to recognize one’s love expiration.
Love is the greatest,we must strive and put in some effort as well as make some sacrifice for our partner if we want our love to be alive.
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Interesting post. I do think that sometimes, relationships aren't meant to last forever and there's absoloutely nothing wrong with that. In fact if as a couple, you can come to this conclusion and decide to seperate, then that's far better than staying together out of feelings of an obligation to.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jonathon for your honest opinion on this. I find it interesting that you agree as well that it is better to separate than to stay out of an obligation to someone being that you advise married couples on how to work things out.
ReplyDeleteIf my relationship sounds like this, and we broke up a few days ago, and have broken up in the past, what is there to do? I love my ex-partner, and I would do a lot to revolve my life around his. For a long time, I felt that I was the one making the effort, and more so seemed to concentrate on working things around him. He claimed he felt trapped and it only hurt me more, adding to my desperation to fix things. However, I was horrible at communicating and so was he, preferring to ignore my feelings and just continue as if nothing was the matter, and any talk of emotions first always took a turn for the worst. This time his sister and mother got involved, going through my personal conversations on a social network, where I expressed my desperation with him, said some stupid things with friends about how I was annoyed with his family and with another friend, where he might have to marry me someday because my ex had expressed never wanting to see me again. I know what I did was wrong, but I feel betrayed that people would go through my things and then at a dark point for us use it against me. He listened to them, and now he does not want to be with me even though he knows he caused me a lot of pain. I still have some hope that he will want to talk. I always have, that we could someday talk and solve all our issues. Is this being too hopeful?
ReplyDeleteLife is full of infinite possibilities. So with that being said, being open to the that fact that things can turn around for the better is not being too hopeful in my opinion. Time is your best friend right now. Sometimes we need time to review, space to think and possibly see if things are worth working out or better left alone. Sorry that you had to learn the hard way that social media is not the place to air all your feelings. Rule of thumb, never say anything that you wouldn't mind the whole world reading. After all it is the world wide web. Hope things work out for the better.
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