Avoiding the Ultimate B L (Big Lesson)

When you first meet them, note* I said them and not the ONE. Better yet, let me call them a “BL” which is short for “Big Lesson”. You almost immediately and stupidly, I might add, fall for BL’s game or hex. If you never encountered a BL then consider yourself fortunate. However, in case one crosses your path this is how you will be able to identify them; a BL operates something like this: You meet them and you’re almost instantaneously enticed by their confidence, charm and their seductive ways. Now pay attention, that confidence will draw you in like a magnet, it is often a disguise for arrogance. BL’s always have charm and a tenacious way about them that is sure to have you in some sort of a trance. This comes from many years in the game, a serial player at its best. As for the seduction you will experience with BL, well let’s just say it’s like something beyond words or this lifetime.

A BL has the ability to detect your weakness and insecurities on sight. A BL can sniff this out like a hound and use them against you to reel you in and get you hooked. A BL can get you hooked long enough for them to have their way with you then dispose of you like old news. The sweet gestures that hooked, lined and sunk you are now replaced with a lack of feedback or total avoidance. We clearly saw all the red flags going up all around us at the time but, because BL had already succeeded in hooking us, we were already paralyzed and under their spell. We couldn't shake them even if we wanted to. We all ready brought what BL was selling so we were too far gone to make any sound judgments or decisions.

In the beginning, BL will either pretend to want a real relationship or some may even be up front and say they are not looking for anything serious. However, because of that “CCS” (Confidence, Charm, and Seduction) combo and because this combo is like no other, we don’t even wait for them to play us like a Mattel game. We begin to play mind games on our own selves. We begin to create delusional realities and, we do this with the most complete rationale too! We begin to believe that we have the ability to get them to see the relationship in a new light. That we have the ability to make them want to turn in their player card and make us the one. We say to ourselves that what we have going between the BL and us is something special, unique and worth holding on to. We fail to realize that a BL loves their player ways way more than they can ever care for or love us. Since a player tends to always have their cake and eat it too then why would they ever turn in their player card for us? You see a BL has always gotten away with things in past relationships and perhaps never been truly checked or ever had a dose of their own affliction. So why would they ever change or have compassion or mercy on us. BLs always have that “On to the next one” attitude so what’s so special about you to them?

Like I touched on in the Cutting the Tomfoolery post, we tend to fall for BLs perhaps because deep down everyone likes a little challenge or a daring thrill. It's not their unpleasant characteristics that we are drawn to; it is more so the chase that ignites us. It is the chase that makes our hearts almost skip a beat or tingle at the sight or thought of them. It is that chase that makes us never forget, or hang on to every word and hope that BL would call or surface. Know that if you pursue a BL you will be left with a nonexistent relationship that will ultimately leave you feeling void and disenchanted. The flames will most likely accelerate and ignite fast, things will really get hot between you and then you will be left abruptly burnt. So recognize the “BL” (Big Lesson) before hand so that you can avoid being unnecessarily schooled.